Every now and then I am blessed to see inside little windows to the souls of my children.
Amidst the chaos, the bickering, the carpooling to and from activities. The reminders (or nagging) to stay on task, homework, the after-dinner clean up duties, practicing, bedtime routine (I could go on and on), I am provided with little glimpses that remind me of just who they really are, what their potential really is and the greatness and goodness that is within them. These reminders change me as their mom.
This week I was blessed with two such glimpses into Zachary. They weren't really little glimpses, but rather big huge billboards with flashing neon lights screaming at me to really stop, look and see.
The first being a note he wrote in the middle of a school day for McKenna:
Now if this had been a note between the girls, or even Zachary to Abby, I would have thought, "Oh, that's sweet" and gone on with my day. But because this was a note written by Zachary to McKenna it caused me to really stop and appreciate it. You see, of all our kids, these are the two that squabble the most. These are the ones that would give the other to bandits if asked to give up one member of our family. These are the two that know just what buttons to push in the other. And because of all these reasons, this little note becomes all that more meaningful to me as their mother.
It caused me to stop and look at how they have been getting along. It caused me to sit down with McKenna and thank her for including her brother and point out to her how happy it makes him. It caused me to pull Zachary in close, give him a hug and tell him how much I appreciate him being kind to his sister and what a good boy he is. It caused me to ponder on the goodness and tenderness of his heart. And most importantly it caused me to see that they really can get along more often then not. It caused me to think on how my role, as their mother, can help accomplish that.
The second glimpse occurred as we drove to school one morning last week. The radio was off, and people were just talking, mostly nonsense stuff. Then Zachary spoke up and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you about my baptism....Have you noticed how I haven't been fighting for a whole week?"
"Yes, and it really makes me so happy," I said. "What does that have to do with your baptism?"
"I made a goal not to fight for a whole week. Because if I'm more clean inside then it wont be as much work when I'm baptized."
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that this seven year old who still has a whole year to go before he is baptized, is already thinking and trying to prepare for that special, sacred ordinance to take place in his life. I sat there and was overcome with gratitude that he, all on his own, decided to set a goal to help him in that preparation and then to work and really accomplishment it. It was this huge wake-up call to me of the greatness of his spirit. I was filled with such gratitude that I get to be his mother and learn from him.
As I've pondered these glimpses into his soul this past week I've thought: sure, these glimpses were not hard to miss. They were like big boulders dropped in my lap. How many other little glimpses do I miss in the rush and craziness of life? How many times is my Heavenly Father trying to bless me through these kids that I just don't see or recognize. Each one of them are so different, so unique, so special in their own ways. Each one has been blessed with their own gifts and talents. It has caused me to stop and ponder on how I am doing as their mother to recognize these individual gifts and talents. What I do to help bring those out in them and develop within them.
I'm so grateful for glimpses that help remind me just who these kids really are that I get to mother. And how it changes me to be more deliberate in my mothering.
